I vividly remember being thrown into the deep end of the public swimming pool by my dad because that is how you learn to swim! I can still feel the water burning in my nose, the panic in my body and I am sure I looked like I was having a seizure by every other person in the pool! Did I learn to swim that day? NO! It actually traumatized me and led to a gentle, slow approach of teaching myself how to swim. I have always been eager to learn something new and not afraid of change. However, I am afraid of failure and disappointment. Embarking in this Masters program has been an eye-opener for sure. I have always been an “A” student, take pride in my ability to roll with the ever-changing education learning punches (even as an “old” lady) and relish a challenge so this should be easy-peasy. COVA+CSLE has thrown me once again into the deep end of the pool. Going through 5302 (eportfolios) where I had to make every decision – program, color, layout, content – made me panicked as I kept asking for feedback from Dr. H (does this look good?, Is this what you want to see?) but with no specific guidance. The innovation plan in 5305 completely had me gasping for breath with so many variables, so much research, so many long nights. I was drowning!! So you would think the COVA model perhaps doesn’t appeal to me…WRONG! COVA+CSLE has been the tangible process I needed to be on the receiving end (student) to completely understand and ultimately model to my peers and students. I have learned so much more about myself through the authentic learning opportunities presented through the program. I have developed new and trusted relationships with others in this program that provide accountability and forward feedback. I feel the pride of accomplishment where my voice and my choice created some amazing products. I am continuing to learn that it is not a finish line though. The ownership does not end at the conclusion of each course. My eportfolio continues to grow, change and morph as I engage in new learning opportunities. I often catch myself in that old, fixed mindset (I can’t do this! Or what in the world are they asking me to do?!) and remember to take a deep breath, quit flailing around and complaining and add that word “YET” to the end of my negativity. I received my first B on an assignment last week in as long as I can remember. I didn’t cry, quit or cuss though. I know that I can do better based on the feedback I received and the knowledge that I did my best at that moment in time. I actually corrected the assignment knowing I could not resubmit for a higher grade because it wasn’t about the grade. It was about the growth. And honestly, that is what I pray my learners take away from my class – that they did quality work, pushed themselves to do hard things, rose to the high expectations as they felt my genuine support and walk away with pride and accomplishment in their product(s)/performance.
Applied Digital Learning. (2021, January 8). It’s About Learning Creating Significant Learning Environments. Retrieved March 28, 2021, http://www.harapnuik.org/?page_id=8517